After YOUR MINDFUL LITTLE CHRISTMAS
here's NEW YEAR BREAKOUT!....
We all know that, come New Year, it’s no good phrasing our resolutions as “I will TRY to… “, because the only way we stand any chance at all of keeping it up for more than a couple of weeks is if we say “I’m GOING to…” But even then we’re starting with a handicap because if we have in our minds “going to” - that’s still in the future, it’s not NOW. And between NOW and DOING, ‘going’ very easily becomes ‘gone’.
Have you ever thought how it’s so much easier to let things drift and get into a mess, than it is to get them back? Why is that? Why does it seem to be more natural for purpose to turn into hesitation, determination to become wavering, direction become aimlessness, than the other way around? The one way it’s like a slippery slope, the other it seems to need superhuman effort and a mega-breakthrough.
Here’s how it is. Say, you’ve realised that things have started to go downhill. A few months ago you were sailing along, deciding things as they came up, mostly getting it right… I say mostly, but perhaps you just got used to assuming that, because recently people have started to suggest you don’t know what you’re doing, questioning your choices, seeming to be upset with you, and now you're wondering yourself. “Lost my way”, you're thinking, “I thought I knew where I was but perhaps I didn’t.” And that worries you and you start to feel stupid for not seeing. (This is your critical-worrier speaking.)
Here’s how it could be. When you realise what your issue is, “I thought I knew where I was going, but judging from feedback I don’t”: instead of letting it get to you, “I’m lost and what’s more I’m stupid for not seeing it”, and letting that notion get stuck, you could do something completely counter-intuitive. You could go towards this disappointment with yourself, accepting it, rather than resisting and pretending it’s not there. The method is very similar to the way we use meditation to alleviate pain.
The moment when 'being lost' re-finds a direction is a point of turning and at the instant of turning there is stillness. To break free from your critical-worrier, you need to bring stillness into awareness, like a sense of ease spreading through your body and into your mind. When you reach a real stillness, you can look for your being lost right there where you now are. You won’t find it, because there is just stillness. And then you can move beyond, because your mind has room: in the clear space it is freed up to become creative again.
It all comes from stillness in mind.